1. Easy..... losing my independence because of my health. I don't think that even needs an explanation.
2. Not having a roof over my head. My fear of not being able to provide for myself. Because historically it did happen to me after my husband died. And although since then, I have bought a home totally of my own, on my own, by myself. I fear perhaps unrealistically it happening again.
3. At times, lately, my own anger that seems to be surfacing. That I know I need to address.
4. Brown recluse spiders
5. Crying in front of others.... I'm maybe not afraid of that, it's uncomfortable for me, let me rephrase it,
losing control crying in fronts.
6. Losing control
7. memory failure
8. Wasps, hornets and things that sting unmercifully.
That's it.... that was a huge stretch for me tonight especially. I'm not really afraid of a lot of things. And my biggest ones are all sort of looped together in one long strand. A domino sort of thing. One thing I could add which probably is at the top of the list... is not being able to get to the water... to see the ocean, to touch it, to be there. It is the one place in my life that I feel totally plugged in and at peace and present before Papa. It feeds my soul.
I'm done. Tomorrow's another day. And prayerfully a better one.
5 comments:
I do hope it's a better day tomorrow, Lori.
At this moment, I can relate to all your list. It is tomorrow, today will be better.
Thank you both..... she says as the lightning gets ever closer. And I am playing Ben Franklin today.
Today's better. My arm hurts like hell, but all things said, all the internal turmoil has lower it's temp from a rolling boil to a very low simmer.
I hope you're doing better, Lori. And I hope you're at the water.
It's a good dang day..... I needed some good news for a change..... just a little tidbit.... I was at the water Rach! Peace at the water. My internal gyro was off that day....a little emotional stress from the man-child..... and that too passed..... cuz Papa is good to his foolish children.
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