Scattered?  Me?  Never......

I laughed when Diane pulled the word scatter, thinking how appropriate a word since that pretty much described my life is general at the moment.  Then it got better for a day, maybe two.  Then returned to its normative state... scattered.
Scatter reminded me of skitter, which is what Sushee the resident house gecko does when running across the tile floor to avoid my steps.  Skitter is a lot like scatter.
More to the point. This will not contain photos although I had thought about it  initially... but I'm in the time crunch and yes I am scattered.  I have been jotting scattered note all week about being scattered and what that means to me.  Today I sort of hit on something that all things considered sticks in several ways on several levels.
Technically and by definition scatter means to toss or throw carelessly, and the rest of the verbage you can go look up... but there are times when I think that scattering when done with an intent and clear purpose may not be so careless. When something we need to get rid of is purposefully thrown off and away, I wouldn't call that careless.  So many times I have done just that.  I reach in and mindfully give it a toss.  With great intent and purpose.  Careful not to launch at anyone else in my throwing.  
My mind wandered first to scatter rugs, which we never called them scatter rugs, we called them throw rugs... (see here is where a photo of a throw rug, bath mat etc would be a great visual, use your scattered imagination)  so, saying we call them scatter or throw rugs, how then do we get them where we intend for them to be?  Wad them up and toss them hoping they land in the general vicinity of where we want them?  Toss it like a cow chip?  Kind of flat grab by the corners aim and fling hoping to get it close enough to the line? Or just toss it down and then smooth it out with your feet.  No one bends over to put down a throw rug... say what you will.
Then I begin to think about my scattered mind.  How did it scatter?  Did I purposely and carelessly toss it?  Did I throw it?  And if I did, how did I do that?
What did I do to throw my thoughts, sense, emotions and whatever else was rolling around in there?  Did I reach in and grab a handful of mess blindly and just toss it?  throw it?  It's already scattered, so I'm scattering scattered stuff.  it's already scattered, so do I need to scatter it further?  I don't want it.  I don't need it.  i'd rather leave it lying there where I scattered the scattered mess and keep walking.  No need to regather, I'm thinking if I scattered it to begin with, it's something I not only do not want or need, but something that is not good for me and no need to recollect.  Doing so would leave me feeling scattered, which is not a verb, so I can not go that one.... maybe next year Diane will do adjectives.  Then I'll have a story ready for that word.  The odds slim to scattered that it would appear on the list.  
I guess my real point is that yes I am scattered much of the time, and yes I do toss that scattered nonsense out, off and away from me.  For the most part my mind is fertile soil, with the right amount of sun, water and food and seeds well sown, it at times will yield among the scatters things that are whole, beautiful and lovely.  And that like pulling weeds and pitching them, it is a necessary process to get in there and scatter the accumulated nonsense that bogs down and further scatters our already too crowded little brains.  

This had no beginning, middle or end... it is as the word says scattered.  words dispelled, dispersed and tossed about it a careless way.  but mindfully so.