Why-What-How and all the rest is commentary

Why I Write?


It's what I do.   Every single day, sometimes several times a day.  I journal and have since I can remember.   To me there is nothing like a paper and a pen... nothing takes the place of that.  Nothing.
I always keep two going in tandem.  I write I suppose for the reasons people who tend to be introspective and contemplative do.  I pound things out.  I dump.  I rant, rave, emote, detail, dissect, ponder, and when I'm done, I usually do it all again.  I don't ruminate as badly as I used to.  I think the older you get, the more you let go of.  Your focus narrows on what's really important to you alone.  For me, it helps keep me focused, balanced and centered which is very important to me.  It keeps me tuned in spiritually.  Writing and the water... pretty much says it all.  It's a place for me to speak my truth and honor who I am.  And it gives me a deeper understanding in places that at times, I may fall short.  Keeps me tuned.

What do I expect?


I don't have any expectations from myself, let me restate that. I don't enjoy typing as a method of communication.  So this is a little challenging for me.  Umm... but too, I miss the circle that we formed back whenever... sharing and learning from each other.  Friends... we become along the way.  And to continue that process is probably something we all need.  We might need a little deeper and personal than what we ate for dinner on facebook.  Oh and it'll give us a nice space in which we can all pull our proverbial pants done, show our backsides, and not fear being judged.  Because we're all the same.

How it makes me feel?


Unsure how to answer that one... I'm pretty up front about most things.  I'm kind of a no bull shit person.
On the other hand I am also very private and believe it or not, quiet.  Most of you guys know me fairly well enough to know how I am.  I make jokes and use humor to defray stress a great  of the time.  It helps hide my fear or anxiety.  Most of the time, I am funny... at least to myself.  I am at a place in my life, where I don't care much about what other people think.... the only thing that sits front and center for me, is my relationship with Papa.  I try to keep that in front of me.  Always.  I don't deny my feelings, I just need some major reminders at times that "they" don't matter.  I  do...  I matter, to me and to God.  Enough said on that.

Why have I fallen out of practice?


Number of reasons, I had a blog.. dumped it.  Started another one after talking with Diane about it... but had other things going on which took my attention and were priority rather than sitting and typing.  I was still journalling, I just couldn't park my can to blog.  I was teaching, so the work I did on the computer was usually class related and the last thing I wanted to do was type more.  And I started playing guitar again, which as you guys know, music is a passion and playing was such a beautiful outlet for me.... it's a real "feel good" thing.  I was dealing with health issues.  Serious ones.  I was living in a place I hated, put my house on the market and took two years, but it sold and I moved back home.  Being home.... the water... my church....  I didn't "need" to blog.... I didn't even really read them... I'd read a few here and there.... but I just wasn't into it.  And still dealing with some health issues... that can be at times (she chuckles crazily under her breath and groans) disgusting, and damn irritating to me... and yeah, they are life threatening... but they annoy the crap out me.  No, the Dr's annoy the crap out of me.  End of rant.

Doing it professionally/vs fun?


Oh no, this is brief..... neither.  Not professionally.... and I wouldn't say fun.... I  would more for the connection.... keeps the loop together.

Hiding from my real life?


How could I possibly hide from my life?  Nope.  Not  a chance....  I am laughing.  What is my real life?
Who  I am really?  What am I doing here?  Should I go left or right?  Speak or stay silent?  Do these pant make me look like I have any butt at all?  yeah.... I'm hiding out for sure.

And so friends, in closing... I'll only say I'm happy we're doing this.... think it's a good thing.  For all of us.